Alone to ALL One in Hawaii

by Teri-E Belf

It all began with a desire to visit Hawaii.

In 1982 after learning at a week-long retreat in a New Hampshire spiritual community that each part of the world represents some part of our body, this concept intrigued me. If we are just a microcosm of the whole, then Hawaii was the place I wanted to go. It represents our heart (vibrationally) aka love.

Traveling is in my blood, with years of travel in the family constellation to many countries, learning about other cultures and respecting variations. But up to then I had never travelled alone. In fact, in high school I had backed out of two opportunities to travel with language clubs (French and German) because I feared traveling alone. I would not have been entirely alone, but it felt like it. So, for this Hawaiian trip, I asked a colleague, whom I only knew from a business connection at indoor meetings, to go with me. She had a sense of humor and was kind, what else did I need to know?

As it turned out—lots. For one, we agreed to rent a car.  But it turned out she assumed that I would pay for the rental because she did not drive, which was not mentioned until after the car was rented. In addition, our ideas about how we wanted to spend the week were vastly different. She wanted to sit all day in the sun and read and relax. I love doing that, too, although not for an entire day or vacation week.

On our first day out in the intense Hawaiian sun, she got sun poisoning. The rest of the day was spent locating the “right” physician to handle the situation. Then she had a bad reaction to the medicine the physician gave her. Feeling miserable, she arranged to fly home the next day. So, I was about to be on my own—first time ever.

I vowed right then to, next time, vet a person’s travel preferences before making a commitment to travel with them. I pondered what to consider in a potential travel companion? Certainly, values, financial responsibilities, definition of fun, level of adventuresomeness, etc. My mistake, I didn’t ask. I made assumptions. I had expectations.

When I become frustrated or annoyed, I switch to being curious. Curiosity was needed now.

Because I had the car, I chose to drive all the way around the Island of O’ahu. Stopping to use the restroom at a hotel, I was drawn to music, celestial music and found myself in the middle of a wedding party, dancing. At the door I had picked a raffle ticket and ended up winning first prize—a carton of macadamia nuts. People asked me if I was there for the bride or groom. “Honestly neither, I am alone,” and they embraced my adventuresome spirit. Being alone brought me connection. In that moment I realized I am not alone. Never alone. Spirit is always with me. I vowed to be more aware of the signs, messages, and clues that are being scattered on my path and to guide my choices.

I decided that the carton of macadamia nuts would be divided amongst my family, friends, and colleagues back home. However, while I was out galivanting, the U.S. Postal Service contacted my travel companion who was getting ready to leave, and she gave them the wrong address—hence, no nuts, no gifts. Why did this happen? I checked inside and felt a sense of mystery at winning and losing, things coming and going, the natural flow of life.

More curiosity needed.

I popped (that means flew) over to the largest Hawaiian island, the Big Island, the largest island in geographical terms, of over 100 islands that comprise the State of Hawaii in the United States. All of the eight main islands are inhabitable except one. Curiosity “drove” me to see the semi-retired, snoring volcano, Kilauea, one of the largest volcanoes in the world. So, there I was, standing at the rim of a volcano, all by myself. I wish I had the camera equipment I have now—but also not sure I would have had the courage to take my eyes away from the volcanic sparks even for a moment to take a photo. Courage has the word coeur in it, French for heart. The island of love. Where one’s courage is tested. I get it! I made a commitment standing there that I would remember the experience precisely forever.

After being mesmerized by the sparkling, dancing embers, I drove down to sea level and got lost. No GPS or Waze back then. Besides, I cannot imagine I would have had internet connection at the rim of a volcano. After a few hours driving and getting lost a few more times, I came across a house in Hilo and stopped to ask for directions. The family, including a darling puppy and children, invited me to stay with them for a few days.  I enfolded easily into their rhythm, generosity, and love… I am never alone, Spirit reminded me.

These travel lessons are now part of my life as I seek more and different lessons, or more subtle lessons from the ones already learned. I do believe that every life lesson brings me a gift and my role is to be the detective to find and unpack the gifts with gratitude.

I learned what I fear or resist is where learning erupts; my travel partner left me so I could have the opportunity to be alone courageously.